Ruffles, not one but two Scheana montages & a screaming sweaty Jax Taylor. What a solid first part of the reunion. This season hasn’t been the strongest but it still some of the best television on air.
Here’s is our power rankings of the cast that has yet to disappoint!
#11 - Tom Sandoval
Expecting more from his lewk. It’s a sad reunion when Jax looks better than Sandoval. I hope he has a moment in the next two parts. or is he too mature for this bullsh*t? Maybe he is just meant to be a side character who owns a bar and 2 million dollar house?
#10 - Stassi
Queen B has been benched. I hope Stassi gets married, takes her money and Lauren Conrads her way off the show. With all due respect, I’m just over her.
#9/#8 - Swartz & Katie
The woman Jax and Faith had sex next to had more life than these two.
#7 - Ariana Venti
Ariana Venti comes with the facts. She reveals the fake twitter account revealing all of the gay accusations against James was attached to Jax’s phone number. I wish we had footage of Jax inhaling a plate of pasta and creating fake twitter accounts.
#6 - Lala (50) Kent
Death really shakes a person up so I am giving Lala a pass. Her fashion hasn’t been the best and her ego was bigger than Raquel ruffles. Telling her girlfriends “find a man like Rand…no thanks” I am hoping for Lala reborn next season.
#5 - Jax Manbaby Taylor
The 53 year old toddler never disappoints. Rage, forehead sweat and jumping out of his chair to beat up James. All I really expected.
#4 - Kristen Doute
Remember how it was rumoured that Kristen was fired? Can you imagine if that happened? Kristen takes her job seriously. She looks great and her Mission: Destroy James has saved this season.
#3 - Scheana Marie
The cast makes fun of Scheana & producers mock her continuously but Scheana is still good as gold.
#3 - James "The White Kanye" Kennedy
Let me lead with I don’t agree with everything James has said or done but he walked into this reunion completely hated and his cast was ready to tear him down instead of hear him out. If it weren’t for Mr. Kennedy there would be no drama.
#2 - Brittany Hillbilly soon-to-be Taylor
Brittany gave a grade A reunion performance. She screamed, she held her man baby’s hand and owned every inch of her hilly billy body dressed as a disco ball. This vibrant & feisty Brittany is so refreshing considering last year we had her in tears rehashing Jax f*cking Faith next to a woman on life support.
#1 - Raquel of the House of Dumb, the Beauty Queen, Bambi-eyed Bitch, Breaker of James being gay rumors, Puppy Party Throwing, Mother of Ruffles
A star has been born, sue me! We’ve all been waiting for Raquel’s star moment all season but she’s been giving it to us. Between her trembling while she’s talking, hosting a puppy party and serving this reunion lewk RAQUEL IS NOT PLAYING WITH US! She bring a fresh feel to the show, she’s perfect to look at and is an unintentional comedic goddess.